My Ticket Out

I pulled into a parking spot in front of the courthouse. I froze. I grabbed my steering wheel and squeezed. I hoped for this moment, I planned for this moment. I believed it was coming, I just needed a moment to take it all in. (Read more: The Power of Visions – The Rose Miller Story) I took a deep breath. “I got this!” I whispered, reassuring myself. 

I wanted out, out of my marriage, out of this life, at all costs. My situation was complex. Leaving with the kids would be kidnapping, leaving without them would be abandonment. I couldn’t do either. Also, filing for divorce while living under the same roof as a covert narcissist, wouldn’t be safe. (Read more: https://therosemillerstory.com/2020/10/30/5-steps-to-leaving-a-narcissist/) I never gave up hope and today was the opportunity I was waiting for. An eviction, I was facing eviction, this was my ticket out.

Once inside the courthouse, I met with my lawyer, the mediator, and the landlord who was shocked to see me.

My lawyer began, “I am representing this woman and her children, but not the husband.”

“The eviction is against the whole family.” The landlord said.

“That is true, however, this is an unusual circumstance. I was hired to assist in resolving this as civilly as possible.” Said the lawyer. 

“I want my money.” The landlord demanded.

“She doesn’t have such funds. She will be out by the end of the month.” He assured him.

“No, I want her out today. She owes me $7500.” Something didn’t add up. The letter I received said $5700.

I watched the landlord argue with the lawyer. The number $7500 kept repeating itself over in my head. That’s five months’ rent, why would he let it go on for so long? I replayed the conversation my social worker had with the landlord a couple of months ago. He said we were up to date and now we are five months behind? This was a set-up and he’s in on it.

They argued back and forth until they settled on three days. 

“Where does she sign? She is leaving willingly.” My lawyer looked at me nodding for my approval. I sighed and nodded back.

Once they left the room I looked at my lawyer. “How am I going to empty my apartment in 3 days?” I asked frantically.

The lawyer leaned in, “you’re not.”

“What?!” I whispered in shock.

“You’re not going back to that house. Once he gets the divorce papers, it’ll be too dangerous. I can’t let you go back there.” He said, shaking his head. “We need to keep you safe. You’re just going to have to leave it all behind. Things can be replaced.” He reassured me. “Right now, everything is going according to plan, he didn’t show, you just need to sit tight.” I grabbed the side of my chair. My arms were shaking, I couldn’t stop it. Tears filled my eyes.

Then suddenly, as if someone had punched me in the gut, I fell back into my chair hitting the back of it hard. I’m homeless, I thought. I couldn’t wrap my head around this. How? How am I going to do this? I have nowhere to go. I looked at my lawyer. He better know what he is doing because everything is on the line, I just gambled with my life.

”I know you are scared but you need to trust me, I have your back. You needed to leave him and this was your ticket out. You are overwhelmed right now, but soon you will see how he messed up, looks like the landlord was in on it.” He understood.

The mediator returned, placing 2 documents in front of me. I picked up the pen struggling to keep a grip and struggling to see through the tears that were rolling down my face. I signed my name. I breathed in deeply and held it for a second. “There’s no going back,” I whispered.

My lawyer stood up. “From here to family court, time to file that divorce.”

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