Rose Miller 
Each mother has a precious little blossom, she tends to it with tender loving care. And she plants it in her tender loving garden. And hour after hour she sees her blossom flower, and she watches her little flower grow. And how do flowers grow? And what do flowers show? Beauty, strength, resilience, and transformation.
Mom always said she treated me like a delicate flower, she cared for me with silk gloves. She invested time and sacrificed herself so I would have a better life. And she watched me bloom into a capable, talented young adult with dreams and aspirations, and my whole life ahead of me. Little did she know….
I would spend my twenties wilting and slowly losing my petals. I completely lost my sense of self and forgot who I was. I hid in darkness, and isolation because I was full of shame. Domestic violence isn’t always loud and obvious, sometimes it’s subtle and easy to miss.
(Read more: https://therosemillerstory.com/2020/07/24/5-subtle-signs-of-emotional-abuse/)
But flowers can’t grow in darkness, they can’t bloom in shame, and “when a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”- Alexander Den Heijer.
I reached out, I spoke up, and I asked for help. I overcame my shame and slowly stepped out of the dark shadows of abuse that were stunting my growth.
I was reconnected with my roots, slowly remembering where I came from. I was slowly watering my own garden of roses, and when the rays of hope enveloped me like a warm hug once again, I started to stand tall, thorns pointier. (Read more: 5 Boundaries To Keep A Toxic Ex At Arms Length – The Rose Miller Story)
When I finally left my abuser and built a life for myself,
(Read more:https://therosemillerstory.com/2020/08/07/my-ticket-out/ ) Mom commented that her Rose was blooming again. It was clear that it was my environment, I was never to blame. From surviving to thriving in just a short year. Domestic violence changes you, you will never be the same. First, it breaks you, then it’s the realization that your reality isn’t as it seems, and then the fight of your life. It’s a battle so many of us weren’t prepared for. It’s a battle so many don’t win.
(Did you know that the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the abuser senses you want to leave? Read more: https://therosemillerstory.com/2020/10/30/5-steps-to-leaving-a-narcissist/)
I am one of the lucky ones. A purple rose. I think of a Domestic Violence Survivor as a purple rose. The rarity of the purple rose represents self-discovery and transformation. How fitting for the end of a journey through hell. We’ve come through on the other side. We deserve a better title than DV survivors. Domestic violence survivors need recognition, we are rare, strong, and courageous. Many of us are breaking the curse for the next generation.
A purple rose can make a powerful statement of respect, admiration, and gratitude. It’s a beautiful way to express complex emotions and thoughts that are as deep and rich as their mesmerizing color. A purple rose symbolizes that life can be bright after it rains because life is what you make of it.
To all my purple roses, it was not your fault. No one deserves what you’ve been through. You are beautiful and strong and you deserve only the best. Every DV survivor endured abuse, moved through it, and persevered. That has my respect and admiration. I cheer for such people and I believe they can do anything they put their minds to. I know this because no one understands the terror that runs through your veins when you fear for your life. Keep healing, keep growing, and always remember the better it gets, the better it gets.
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