Rose Miller 
Being emotionally attached in relationships is normal. Being emotionally attached to a narcissist is exhausting. The unpredictability of their actions and reactions is confusing and depleting and feels like you are going in circles. The patterns seem to repeat themselves and nothing improves but there are things you can do to help yourself. Here are five ways to emotionally detach from a narcissist.
- Don’t tell them how you feel.
Narcissists are emotional vampires. (Read more: 5 Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse – The Rose Miller Story) They feed off your pain and sadness and deny that they cause it. They honestly don’t care how you feel, if they did they wouldn’t treat you poorly. You’ve spent too much time trying to get them to understand how they hurt you but they don’t because they lack empathy. They take your emotions and use it to gaslight you. Don’t let them, find someone else to share your feelings with or write it down somewhere safe.
- Don’t overshare
The more you learn to keep interactions brief, the more peace you will have. Narcissists are calculated people who take the things you share with them twist it to use against you, or they’ll ruin your plans. When you share excitement about your life they minimize it and make you feel bad because they didn’t accomplish the same. Oversharing with them is not a form of connection, it is a path to destruction. They aren’t worthy of knowing your life successes or plans.
- Don’t react
Narcissists love to see reactions, don’t give it to them. The less you react to them, the more control you will have. Reacting to a narcissist makes most people behave out of character. Walk away if you have to but don’t give them a reaction. Learn the gray rock method. The gray rock method is a way to deal with manipulative people by acting as unresponsive, boring and uninteresting as possible so they lose interest in you. It takes time, but it does work. When they see this they provoke, keep your cool and be cold.
- Don’t defend
Don’t defend yourself against something you didn’t do. You already know you didn’t do it and you also know that they know you didn’t do it. You don’t have to defend yourself, it’s frustrating and unreceptive. Also, don’t defend yourself against things you did but they overreacted to. Instead, build up your confidence, take accountability for your actions where necessary, and do not apologize to them, they see that as defeat. People are allowed to make mistakes but you don’t have to pay for them for the rest of your life.
- Don’t engage in their drama
Narcissists love drama; they love to create chaos to take the focus off them. They are not interested in resolution, only emotional uproar. Knowing this, keep in mind that you have the right to have boundaries. (Read more: 5 Boundaries to Keep Narcs at a Distance – The Rose Miller Story) You are not required to get sucked into their distorted reality. Practice gray rocking, distract yourself, or walk away.
When you practice these tips consistently it may get worse before it gets better. Stick with it, you will start to feel empowered. If you give your mind a break you will start to see things clearly. The narcissist is not good for you and will never change no matter what they tell you. (Read more: 5 Things A Narcissist Will Never Tell You – The Rose Miller Story). It’s okay to detach from them. In fact, it’s an important step to take your life back. No one deserves to live like this.
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