Rose Miller 
Father’s Day, for some it’s a day to remember. A day they look forward to, to celebrate the love they have for the most important male role model in their life. For others, it’s a reminder of the loss, not necessarily death but abandonment.
Children need both parents regardless if they split up. Their father has parental rights and I haven’t kept the kids from him since it was ordered regardless of what I thought. But while he is fighting me in court, he is also not complying with what was in the best interest of the children and violating every court order.
A father who cries out about his parental rights but completely ignores his parental obligation is hurting the children just the same. A man who weasels his way out of his parental obligation and financial support regardless of what I am capable of is disgusting. What makes it worse is that while we were left to fend for ourselves he publicly plays “savior” by raising funds for others in need but we all know it’s a con.
So if this is the case, I will put aside my resentment and care for these kids. I will not forsake them. I will step up and be the man. I am the rock of my family and my parental obligation is stronger than my fight for parental rights. Whenever he tries to knock me I remember, I remember how he violated my rights and kept my two kids from me against court orders.
I’ve done everything in my power to enforce my rights. In the meantime I wait, I wait for justice to be served, I wait for the parenting coordinator to intervene. I wait for the truth to come out but in the meantime my other four children need me.
Since leaving him, my children and their stability is my number one priority. Being a mother is the most important commitment I have taken on and under the circumstances, it’s no easy task. I’ll do whatever it takes to show them a good life, whatever it takes to undo the toxic messages he is giving them. I have sacrificed everything for these kids because their father is extremely selfish.
You see, a real father would put his children’s needs before his own. A real father would protect his kids from the drama of divorce, not mix them into it creating fear and panic. A real father doesn’t destroy a mother/daughter relationship. A real father would help his autistic son address his special needs instead of blaming me for them and letting him wither away into isolation. A real father would instill morals and values and show them a proper way of life.
Maybe I am trying to fill a void, maybe it’s not my void to fill. I can’t change him and his messed up ways. But I can be there for my children to help them heal. I can be an inspiration for them, an example of strength. As for the positive male role model we look to anyone who inspires us.
So this year on Father’s Day, the kids stayed with me even though it would have been his weekend had we continued the visitation schedule. He abandoned his children in February because he violated his court order over and over again and the warrant for his arrest is still active.
A year is a long time, I’m hoping things will turn around for the sake of the children. I’m hoping that we can resolve all the parenting issues so everyone gets what they need. But this year on Father’s Day I will hold on to the children. I will protect them until changes can be made because unfortunately now I wear the pants in the house.
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