Rose Miller 
I opened my eyes. The morning sun was just starting to break through the gray sky and shining into my window. My 10-year-old daughter peeked her head into my room to see if I was up yet. “What time is it?” I asked.
“5:40.” She said. I sat up, surprised to see her up so early. Mornings were never her thing. In fact, mornings were our biggest struggle of the day.
I got up and quietly left my room so as not to wake the other children. My daughter followed me, talking about a school event that was coming up. I walked into the kitchen, my 11-year-old son was about to sit down to breakfast. That wasn’t surprising, he’s always been my early bird.
I sat across the table from him, “This is amazing,” I said happily. “We are sitting around like it’s a Sunday afternoon.” I laughed, looking at the clock. “There’s no pressure of being late, we still have over two hours before we need to leave.” My son reached out for the cereal box. “Why don’t we bake banana muffins.” I offered.
“Yeah,” they both answered excitedly. I nodded and got up to gather the ingredients. I took out the blender and placed it on the counter. I hesitated for a moment, the realization that no one can stop me from blending and baking this early was still something I was getting used to. No more tiptoeing around his unpredictable sleep schedule, no more shushing everyone because he had to sleep late. I was free to do whatever I wanted. I turned on the blender. (Read more here: https://therosemillerstory.com/2020/06/05/my-life-is-a-three-ring-circus/)
The other children slowly gravitated towards the kitchen, they smiled when they saw the banana muffins baking. We played music in the kitchen as I cleaned up and prepared lunches, I laid out clothing for the kids and prepared chocolate milk to go with the muffins.
If only he could see me now. I thought.
It’s been a month or so since we moved into my new apartment after leaving everything behind, becoming homeless, and pursuing a divorce. Despite the stress that comes with divorce, the morning struggle just melted away. It felt amazing, it was hard to believe. I used to bend over backward to get them up and out in the morning. Suddenly there was no more nagging for them to get up, No more fighting with them to get dressed. Everyone wakes up well-rested and most mornings I don’t wake up anyone, they wake up on their own.
Had I known that it would have been so natural to change the dynamic once I was out? Had I known that the life we lived would become a thing of the past? Had I known that the kids would work so nicely together with me? I would have done it sooner.
So while he’s telling others that I live in a friend’s shack basement and that I lost custody of the kids because I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I look around and can’t believe how 2 months of consistency has changed our whole life.
What a special thing to be able to give my kids; a fresh start to each day. This is the key to a successful life. I feel so grateful to be able to be that example for them.
I now understand that the only way this was ever possible was by enforcing bedtime. Enforcing bedtime is easy when there isn’t someone undermining your every effort, calling me cruel and heartless. It is possible to create a structure for children to thrive. I thank G-d that they are thriving. I always believed this, I just had no one to work with but it works very well now. Going to bed early was the solution to easy mornings. The two go hand in hand, as they say early to bed early to rise…….
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