Rose Miller 
A few years back, at my lowest point when everything around me seemed to come crashing down, my uncle told me the following story:
There was a farmer who had a donkey that helped him with the heavy lifting. One day the donkey fell into a ditch. The farmer called for help and everyone tried to get him out but the ditch was too deep. Everyone agreed that the only solution was to bury him alive. The people brought shovels and started filling the ditch with dirt, The donkey cried out in panic refusing to give up hope, each time they dropped a shovel full of dirt the donkey shook it off and stopped his foot in protest. Layer after layer he persisted and after a while it elevated him and when the ditch was filled with dirt, the donkey was able to just step out.
It was a powerful story, a story I hung onto. I always believed everything happens for a reason even if we don’t understand it and that we need to do what we can to improve. It helped me shake off each attack from my abuser making me stronger and preparing me to step out and when that day finally came I was ready.
This story still applies to me even though I’m out of the toxic marriage (not fully divorced yet but out.) and living a better life. I’m not at my lowest point anymore, and I’m grateful but I still have days when I feel that there is a lot of dirt still being thrown at me.
Losing my mom just a few months ago felt like I was buried alive. I was back in that ditch but this time I had the tools to pull myself out, I don’t live in that constant state of terror anymore and I am much stronger today and capable of overcoming challenges. I took some time to heal and I wanted more time but suddenly I was dealing with so many different lawyers, an estate lawyer, my divorce lawyer, and on top of it a bankruptcy lawyer. My mom was having some financial hardships when she passed away and now I was stepping into her shoes and taking over.
My mom was a sharp woman, very classy and successful, true to her word, and committed to me and I am so grateful to her. But hard times fall on everyone, and now I needed to learn quickly to keep up and keep things flowing. I rolled up my sleeves and took charge respecting her last-will-and-testament, and did the best that I possibly could.
In a few short months, I found myself in a whole new life, the life we aimed for and dreamed of, me and my mom. She supported me every day while I worked and rebuilt my life. It just crushed me that she died before it was realized. I never imagined that I would get there because of her passing but my supporters encouraged me to move on because they know she wanted this for me.
Every step I took I could hear her cheering me on just like she did three years ago when I came to her homeless with my kids. She strongly believed in second chances. I know she is happy with what I’m doing and where my life is going. But my soon-to-be-ex isn’t. How dare I take an inheritance and a mortgage and buy myself a house for me and our children? How dare I do anything for myself? How dare I have feelings and ideas and dreams and people who support me?
He still has a lot of growing up to do but I can’t be busy with that anymore I’m about to step out of the ditch again and life is once again looking up.
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